Thursday, 10 May 2012

Independance, and the basics to survival

I want to start by simply thanking you for reading this! I appreciate it. I really do. It's a learning curve for me, having on started this on a whim the other day, it's going to develop and change with what inspires me to write, as the last few things have been what I've wanted to write about for a bit, as we go on I'll make it more upto date and relevant, and if you think it's shit that is absolutely fair enough and I apologise in advance for wasting your time! I'm going to try and make things more amusing as I go on, so please bear with me! 


I hear a lot, and it’s always from women, that they can’t ‘cope’ being on their own. They make it sound like they simply couldn’t function without a man, and if left on their own they would simply shrivel up and die. I think this is rather farfetched, over dramatic and complete nonsense. Yet I’m not surprised that women say it, but why? Why can’t you cope, what is the issue, apart from having another body mass, remove that aspect for a minute, and I’m sure you can actually tackle the basic elements needed to live alone. What is probably more alarming is that some guys have said similar things, or at least alluded to it since they have too much pride to simply admit it. Being unable to be on their own, scared to move away from home or obviously would be a total disaster away from home!
I knew a girl at uni who was, how shall we say, quite promiscuous, yet claimed that she wasn't actually just a horny cow, but in fact did it for the cuddles afterwards, as she wanted to feel looked after and protected and would readily admit she had no real independence on her own, which i felt was a bit tragic, so I helped her by passing on various bits of advice I'd accumulated in my time away from home, as let's be fair 1st year at uni can be quite daunting. However also something to note was I KNEW this girl, and she really was a horny cow too.




As I go on to write this, I've sort of put together 4 basic points of being able to survive on your own, or away from home (both are applicable). You might read this and think this is pretty obvious (it is, sorry) or a bit helpful, I'm just kind of listing it. In fact this might be shit quite frankly, and for that I do apologise!

1.       Cooking. Food, it’s rather important. And it’s bloody awesome. There’s not much better than good food in this world of ours, and I try to make sure I enjoy every meal as much as possible. Cooking is simple, it doesn’t need to be fancy or complicated, it can be the basics, learning to boil water, or steaming vegetables, or simply turning the oven on. In fact if anyone feels they cant cook pasta, then you've already disappointed me. It’s understanding these basics that allow you to make simple things ranging from Pizza’s and these new oven ready meals (which aren’t too terrible), to creating a roast dinner. With the internet so readily available, meals are a few clicks away, and I guarantee that as long as you get the ingredients you can make anything your little heart desires. Plus you can wear a cheeky chef's hat and/or one of those HILARIOUS aprons' that make's it look like you're naked, you know, if you're a twat.

2.       Cleaning. This is boring, but so very easy. It doesn’t require much, the basics, such as hovering I find are actually quite relaxing (except when I set my Hoover on fire because I never emptied it, like a moron), and takes about 10 mins. Washing up is a bit tedious but it’s super fast to do, there’s no excuse not to (unless you have a dishwasher, in which case, WHY is this even an issue you lazy cretin). Maybe a cheeky mop here and there (nah, me neither), and a swift dusting if the Hoover cant do the work (I use mine to get crumbs off the kitchen counter, window sills, blinds, the lot, HOOVER EVERYTHING)


3.       Washing. Aside from washing up. Clothes washing is quite essential, you know, to not be a tramp. It’s so easy, you put the stuff in the machine, whack some powder in the thingy, and a bit of the old fabric (I’m such a modern man) in and you’re done. I always do the same spin cycle thingy and it seems to be fine. Then hang it up. Job done. Do it to towels, dressing gowns (oh I’m suave), and bed sheets. Bang. It’s a no brainer.

4.       Paying bills. Meh, we all have to do it, we all moan about it, and we all claim we’re totally broke after (we’re not, we just say it for a bit of pity, and to get out of nights out we don’t fancy. We all know it). That’s a pet hate of mine actually, people saying how broke they are when it’s utterly not true. You’re only broke because you just bought something nice, or booked a holiday, or save a load of money you don’t want to touch. No one is truly “broke” who works a full time job, and if your general bills (gas, water, rent, council tax etc) cost more than you make, you need a new job ASAP. Or go back and live at home. Simple. We’re not broke; we just don’t fancy doing certain things, so it seems that this is the typical default response.  We need to be a bit more original in these things, as when someone says that it just annoys me. One of my old friends the other day was telling me all about how he had to pay 2k for some gardeners (he didn’t HAVE to, he chose to) after just basically buying a house and having it done up VERY fancily (under floor heating etc), and so I suggested a night out – his FIRST response was “not got much money” and when I suggested we watch a friend play football, he actually declined because he couldn’t afford the £8 ticket. Fine, tell me that without telling me all the fancy things you’ve been paying for beforehand. I found it quite offensive and frankly can’t be bothered with him anymore.
So I deviate from my point. Bills are simple, just setup Direct Debit’s for a day or two after you get paid, and it’s all done and then you’re left with money you know you actually have left and can budget accordingly. We can’t all do what we want financially, but we can do a little budgeting here and there. You can’t afford that nice dress you wanted, well don’t go out for 2-3 weeks and get it, compromise, and don’t say you can’t because it’s BS. Guys, same thing, just don’t go out for a bit and try to impress women with champers and whatnot if you want to get a new car or something. Life is about compromises, it’s no different for you than it is for me.


So there you have it, my interpretation of the 4 important things needed to survive on your own and give you some responsibility and independence. It really is quite that simple. Anyone can do it. Hell if I’ve survived for basically 5 years in total on my own, anyone can (my old housemate once put a cooking saucepan in the microwave to make mash potato. He set it on fire. DON’T DO THIS). I might find it easy since I’ve done it, and am good with money, but that doesn’t mean you can’t, uni taught me a lot of things and my life has generally given me a good sense of independence but that doesn’t make me more qualified, just gave me more of a taste for it. So yeah, you don’t need an other half to do things you want to, and I’ve totally forgot what my point was before this particular rant/advice. But yeah, do it. Whatever it is.

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