'Dan ponders' - Literally nonsense on a page

Happy belated new year.

Least that’s now out the way. If this is the first thing of mine you’ve ever read, don’t be surprised as I’m an incredibly lazy writer/person. I’ve spent the last two years especially lacking in motivation of things to write about, or consider worth writing about. In fact the below will probably not be any different, I’m just forcing myself to jot something down.

However, I’ve decided this will be a series of my musings which have popped into my little head, perhaps a smattering of half made points that will collide and confuse during my literal mutterings (I don’t re-read what I’ve typed, this is it, one take, done).

Personally the last year or so has been, like most, fairly normal with some unique situations going on. People like to think that ‘X year will be MY year’ – but, it won’t. Sorry. Every year is everyone’s year, and we’re ornately designed to be somewhat selfish/self-absorbed – so this isn’t actually the case, it’s just a year where some good and some bad might happen, like any other. I appreciate for those on social media (Twitter, mostly looking at you for a change), this might sound a terrible thing to say, and make some gasp – WHAT! I AM NOT SELFISH! Being the outcry, sure, that’s cool – each to their own, man. I’m only calling it how, well how it is. Even the most selfless person may sometimes internally have selfish reasons for their actions.

It links to people believing themselves to be utterly unique, one in a million, no two the same. And that’s true…to an extent. Personality wise, you are unique. YOU reading this (all 1 of you), are unique, no one is the same as you. However as a human being, you’re not. You’re built mostly the same as most others. Sorry. And that’s where this wishy-washy point swirls into the aforementioned selfish piece, it’s how we’re designed from the principles of self-survival, we also have the principles of human nature. Twitter has now become the perfect conduit for this, but it’s taken me years to realize – with probably the last 12-18 months really being the ‘awaking’ to it I needed. It allows everyone to have a voice, a unique single voice, which comically within certain circles actually becomes a unique single MASS voice, echoed by people who want validation and require support. I’ve been guilty of it, for sure, but what I find the most amusing is perhaps those with the lack of self-awareness to even realise, and still feel like they are some independent strong willed individual, who just happens to be the same as countless others. Sometimes I think people are scared to truly be themselves, and that’s a real shame.

This isn’t a dig as such, it’s an observation. I’ve probably lost most of you reading this by now anyway with my confusing spiel, and that’s fine – I write for myself mostly anyway, but even I don’t always understand what appears on the page. I think my final thought on this particular strand of nonsense is tribalism is a real thing, and is particularly apparent on social media, with groups with similar interests forming a bond, which unhelpfully (and I think to some degree, unhealthily) leading to examples of sheep following, mutual unneeded or unwarranted ‘bigging up’, a need of validation from one another that leads into what at times looks to be disingenuous praise, which is really no help to anyone, and degrees of bullying. Just something worth considering – but that’s that about, well, that.

One thing I do like though, for a change, is how people can help one another, and it does appear genuine. It’s touching to see, albeit the various ways that can be achieved, all of which probably do more good than we realize. And also for those who manage to find happiness either within themselves or with another, whatever works – we don’t all get to experience that, or know how to, so it’s actually something that should be cherished and revered, and I think at times we perhaps aren’t aware enough of this, and even become a touch embarrassed when the world around us is such a shitshow. Embrace that, never know how long it’s going to last.

For me personally, I think I’ve had an ok year. Gone through the standard practise of some good times, some great times and some pretty rubbish ones, which is about par for the course. I’m considering writing something more specific to that now that I’ve jotted some words down – it will be for me, but you may take some interest in it.

Anyway that’ll do for now.

Cheers,
Dan

Overthinking. It can be a bit of an issue

It's a strange concept really, the definition is quite simply 'think about (something) too much or for too long.' It's a naturally simple concept to understand, define and ultimately pick out. But something which has occurred to me over the years, and I suspect many else, some do it without thinking.

So I should stress, I can only state this from a personal point of view, and I'm so sorry I can't keep it holistic for everyone, but please tell your stories as you see fit. 
Overthinking isn't something I'd ever even heard of until a few years ago, and firstly it came from my friends, and I laughed it off. It was from a notion of simply coming up with a few 'what ifs' on something that perhaps didn't matter or have any consequences, as I said, I didn't even think anything of it. What an ignorant prat, I can now retort, safely in the confines of 3-4 years later! 

Then it started happening with women I was romantically engaged with. Small things at first, innocuous things, but it was constant. Anything I'd be overthinking, you couldn't make a date, you couldn't answer my call, you couldn't do various things. To me it wasn't normal behavior, yet every time I was overthinking. 
You know what, I kind of agreed. I like to think I'm super laid back and chilled out, but sometimes I become almost militant, I can't explain it - I just like things to be as agreed. I dislike it when people can't stick to a plan, if you don't like the plan, change it - I'm fine with it, but don't agree then do something mental. Perhaps I've just overthought that and we should all just live life how we deem best, it's short, and should be fun. I agree, I just can't seem to express that, especially if it impacts me. 

And the worst impact? It can really impact things badly, even if you don't realize things. It's the reason you suspect things that never happened, or you considered situations that never materialized. It will drive you insane for answers you want but don't have. And eventually it'll filter into conversations, discussions, and ultimately arguments. Faux insinuations will be thrown around, insults will be made, people will be hurt. It's horrible, yet when overthinking it's all so very logical. Even when there is no foundation. I appreciate at this point it's a bit like saying if you say 100 bad things, something will stick, but that's not quite the jist, it's like in your mind you're saying 3 valid things, but in reality, all could be so far from the truth and by then, it's too late, no one needs to, or should deal with that. And for my part in that, I'm sorry. Because the funny thing is, to you, it's just me being a bit of an annoying dickhead, and that's partly true, as that's how it is perceived. Another common misconception is when someone will tell me to 'chill out', often women when I've said something they deem overthinking (it is, they are correct), but it's like I've done it on purpose to say all this stuff. I mean I have, to some degree, but I know I shouldn't, and it has 100% scared off women in the past, and women I really liked too, in fact I ended up liking so much I overthought everything and blurted it all out and scared them off - you see what I did there, that's how it works, it's an endless cycle at times. 
I actually think I've done it a slight disservice, because there are some additional impacts I didn't initially think about, which is ironic right? RIGHT?! Because overthinking is basically a daily occurrence. I do it almost obsessively working out dinner, as I get really anxious if I'm sort of 'winging it' - either I've planned it the day(s) before, or I'm going out, I can't just come home to no food and be like oh I'll get a takeaway, no no, there needs to be absolute planning (again, perhaps normal, but it doesn't feel normal, I feel it's weird). And that's just dinner! 
The final thing about this I think I should mention too, is that when you do overthink about certain situations, you will often come to the worst possible conclusion. And that in itself is an issue. It's unfair and often unfounded, yet, too late, we've gone and done it, and then used that as a springboard to be a dick. It's ridiculous, and perhaps that's just me, but it can be toxic, and it's not nice. 

Something interesting I found when doing some very basic research into this, overthinking is linked to depression, and anxiety. I think it's important that note that people should be aware of this, and Psyweb have an interesting article you should read this

To me this is eye opening, I never really thought the two things connected! But as I sat pondering if this topic had any legs to talk about, I did a little Googling (and mild introspective thinking) and it does, and it makes perfect sense. I hope anyone who's had this kind of situation in their lives can take this into consideration, it really caught me unawares. 

When we move then across into the realms of mental health, this is a quick piece from a football website I read (please don't scoff!), which really can be applied regardless of job/background/situation. It's short and straight to the point, which frankly is too often overlooked, so please do read this

From a personal point of view, I keep thinking that my point isn't some cry for help, or need for pity or even empathy, but the thought that my words might inspire, or help. But the more I think of this the more I come to the same conclusion, I'm expressing personal plight and dressing it up as a human cause, exasperated by my need to claim it's for everyone. As such I think I need to say, this WAS my own situation and I wrote this a few years ago, relating to mental health. I need to be clear, this isn't a lovely read, but also I'm so aware that on the 'bad stakes' life ballot, I'm doing pretty fucking well. I feel pretty great generally, and have a very nice life, and am blessed in 101 ways, but annoyingly that's how mental illness works - you know everything, but you're somewhat helpless. I'd like to stress I'm miles better than this, and I feel ok, but I do still have down moments (as I feel EVERY human being on Earth should do, it's natural, right?) and just wanted to share with anyone who may feel down now to perhaps give it a read and just know things will always be better. Please. And if you feel they won't, then you reach out to someone, anyone, me even, and you tell them. 

I should add, the post I wrote on depression is a few years old, and I've been feeling pretty good in relation to it for a good long while, I had some good conversations with people years ago that really helped me - and bear in mind at the time the only people in the world I told were about 4 of my closest mates, 2 of which was because I basically had a bit of a breakdown in front of them. My mum only found out when she dropped something round to my flat when I was out and saw my anti-depressants. My point is, don't keep it to yourself, speak to someone - I've been off them for years and am happy to impart any advice anyone may want. However the overthinking part  is still present but I do try and get a good hold over it where possible, as some people won't even ever notice I do it, and that's how I like it. You know, me, Mr Doesntwantattentionbutwroteafuckingblogpostandtweetedit 

Thank you all so much for reading, and I suspect I know how I come across. I re-wrote this outro around 20 times, in seriousness, as I'm trying to work out exactly what I can say without being a preachy fuck. Perhaps, and just maybe I agree, I've slightly overthought this one... and for those that know me in person, sorry again, just pretend it never happened! :-)

Dan

Sushi! In London? Sushdon? No. Just Sushi in London

I like foods from all over the world. In fact, I would go so far to say I love cuisines from all parts of the world, more so than the drab offerings we have here. Fish and chips? No, fish and Rice, get in me. I guess you’d then call me an international man of the people, and carry me like Ghandi. No? Well fuck you then.  

I guess that was a reach.

But in reality, a cracker of a question (but I’m sure boring to receive for some of you) is always “What’s your favourite cuisine”. It’s a tough one really, especially to those who can handle spice, and aren’t fussy, the possibilities are plentiful, yet one always jumps to the forefront of my mind – Japanese. Not even just Sushi, but the whole overall Japanese cuisine. In fact, I really like their diet generally, not in a creepy way, just the fact that they don’t really do Dairy, and they don’t have a huge tendency to get involved with red meats, or generally super awful foods. Dashi, the Japanese ‘stock’ which differs from chef to chef and is used in almost everything, including Miso Soup as well as various sauces and marinades, isn’t nearly as bad for you as most other standard stocks or baselines cooking necessities.

The Japanese (And now this is all from either memory, a book I read, or a little guesswork) seem to have fairly low obesity levels, higher average age, and low cancer rates than most countries around the world, and it’s in no small part to their rather sensible diet. In fact I highly recommend a book called ‘Sushi and Beyond’ by Michael Booth – it’s really interesting and very amusing, like Bill Bryson mixed with, I don’t know, Richard Osman.

Which brings me to what I wanted to write about, the food I actually eat. Down here in Brighton we have a really decent Sushi restaurant called Moshimo. It’s got the conveyor belt, a fantastic half price offer on Monday/Tuesdays, and very friendly staff with a good selection of food. If you live in Brighton and like Sushi, and don’t go/haven’t been, then perhaps we need to have a little chat. There is probably better quality to be found elsewhere, with a few others springing up, but for value for money I’m not sure anything else rivals it. I’m a regular frequenter and am often found raving about it to no one in particular, or certainly no one who cares to hear, and infrequently ranting (bring back my healthy salad you bastards!), but I’m a loyal customer who doesn’t really go anywhere else, aka I’m a lazy creature of habit.

Well, my mate who lives in London, knew of my love for all of the above, so invited me to try a place he and his other half discovered in Covent Garden of London Town. I naturally jumped at the chance (after about 3 months of moaning about coming up due to said laziness). However it came with a stark warning – this place isn’t like Moshimo, there’s no belt, and the menu is, for want of a better word, intimidating. Not a problem for this connoisseur, I laugh in the face of such things. What he didn’t tell me is that you can’t find said menu online to pre-browse. Because it’s just a big plastic book. But more on that later.

So we arrive at said location, after a couple of pints en route, and my first impression is ‘what the fuck’. So it is called Eat Toyko, and is a little tucked away place on a road somewhere near Covent Garden. We didn’t book (LIKE THE FUCKING MAVERICKS WE ARE) but rocked up willy nilly, and the waiter looked at us like we’re maniacs who had just insinuated a rude gesture with his next of kin, yet then simply looked to his left, saw a conveniently empty table and suggested we take that (assumedly quickly before his wrath put us all in a difficult position). My mate got us some beers in quick and a starter whilst we perused the menu, since he knew how long it would probably take me to make up my mind. He wasn’t wrong. Though firstly the starter of fried bread crumbed spicy squid was unreal. A portion probably larger than I’ve seen served in some pubs and restaurants and for £3, I basically just giggled to myself at the madness. Whilst his foresight was wise (don’t tell him I said that) since this menu is like nothing I’ve looked at before. It’s about 40-50 pages, I kid you not, and it’s ridiculous. The choice is just bonkers. Everything. No seriously, EVERYTHING, is in it. Including a lovely Japanese take on sea snails, I think. I basically took a beers length of time to go from one end to another, let alone actually choose things. I was sensibly pointed to look at the Bento boxes on offer, which if you don’t know is essentially like a mix up of a few dishes in smaller portions – I obviously chose the largest one they had because I’m a fucking lad. (I just eat a lot, it seems). I actually got really angry twice because I found the whole thing so frustrating, as I eat anything, I wanted to really try and pick out some things, but I just got too lost and was too hungry, BUT, if you know what you like then you should be fine, it’ll be there and it’ll be bloody glorious.

So the food arrived, and my word it was good! The menu proudly exclaims about the award winning chef’s, and the various accolades they’ve achieved, but it’s a disservice to the overall quality of the food. And it’s not tiny portions either. My bento box was £18 and for a gent of my appetite, by the end I felt like I might vom. That didn’t even include rice, and came with Miso. Though I did get a side of Chicken Liver’s, as we decided to all order something weird ‘for the bantz’ yet apparently I was the only one to actually end up ordering it, such is my life. But even they were awesome!

I managed to get a few rubbish pics I’ve included below to give you an idea of what’s what, but my overall opinion is, if you like Sushi, go for it. Really just try it out, especially if your experience mainly consists of Yo Sushi, Itsu or Wasabi. Don’t be put off by the menu, the staff are patient and helpful, and the bento box selection should satisfy most for a first time attempt – maybe just get a ‘fun’ side like me, or don’t, see if I care. (I do.).  And the price is incredibly reasonable, so for 3 of us to have what seemed like a ridiculous amount, as they had a bit of stuff from my box (oi oi) and I pinched a couple of their rolls, excluding the beers and the service charge, came to £22 each. Now I’m not even living in London these days but know good value when I see it!

So go, I urge you, or battle me in a Sushi-off (that should so be a thing), whilst I then will select another place from my list on my next visit. In fact it’s been selected, and it’ll be a very different story – bottomless brunch in London…..

Thanks for reading and here are some awful photos, including the weird water tank we sat next to!