Overthinking. It can be a bit of an issue

It's a strange concept really, the definition is quite simply 'think about (something) too much or for too long.' It's a naturally simple concept to understand, define and ultimately pick out. But something which has occurred to me over the years, and I suspect many else, some do it without thinking.

So I should stress, I can only state this from a personal point of view, and I'm so sorry I can't keep it holistic for everyone, but please tell your stories as you see fit. 
Overthinking isn't something I'd ever even heard of until a few years ago, and firstly it came from my friends, and I laughed it off. It was from a notion of simply coming up with a few 'what ifs' on something that perhaps didn't matter or have any consequences, as I said, I didn't even think anything of it. What an ignorant prat, I can now retort, safely in the confines of 3-4 years later! 

Then it started happening with women I was romantically engaged with. Small things at first, innocuous things, but it was constant. Anything I'd be overthinking, you couldn't make a date, you couldn't answer my call, you couldn't do various things. To me it wasn't normal behavior, yet every time I was overthinking. 
You know what, I kind of agreed. I like to think I'm super laid back and chilled out, but sometimes I become almost militant, I can't explain it - I just like things to be as agreed. I dislike it when people can't stick to a plan, if you don't like the plan, change it - I'm fine with it, but don't agree then do something mental. Perhaps I've just overthought that and we should all just live life how we deem best, it's short, and should be fun. I agree, I just can't seem to express that, especially if it impacts me. 

And the worst impact? It can really impact things badly, even if you don't realize things. It's the reason you suspect things that never happened, or you considered situations that never materialized. It will drive you insane for answers you want but don't have. And eventually it'll filter into conversations, discussions, and ultimately arguments. Faux insinuations will be thrown around, insults will be made, people will be hurt. It's horrible, yet when overthinking it's all so very logical. Even when there is no foundation. I appreciate at this point it's a bit like saying if you say 100 bad things, something will stick, but that's not quite the jist, it's like in your mind you're saying 3 valid things, but in reality, all could be so far from the truth and by then, it's too late, no one needs to, or should deal with that. And for my part in that, I'm sorry. Because the funny thing is, to you, it's just me being a bit of an annoying dickhead, and that's partly true, as that's how it is perceived. Another common misconception is when someone will tell me to 'chill out', often women when I've said something they deem overthinking (it is, they are correct), but it's like I've done it on purpose to say all this stuff. I mean I have, to some degree, but I know I shouldn't, and it has 100% scared off women in the past, and women I really liked too, in fact I ended up liking so much I overthought everything and blurted it all out and scared them off - you see what I did there, that's how it works, it's an endless cycle at times. 
I actually think I've done it a slight disservice, because there are some additional impacts I didn't initially think about, which is ironic right? RIGHT?! Because overthinking is basically a daily occurrence. I do it almost obsessively working out dinner, as I get really anxious if I'm sort of 'winging it' - either I've planned it the day(s) before, or I'm going out, I can't just come home to no food and be like oh I'll get a takeaway, no no, there needs to be absolute planning (again, perhaps normal, but it doesn't feel normal, I feel it's weird). And that's just dinner! 
The final thing about this I think I should mention too, is that when you do overthink about certain situations, you will often come to the worst possible conclusion. And that in itself is an issue. It's unfair and often unfounded, yet, too late, we've gone and done it, and then used that as a springboard to be a dick. It's ridiculous, and perhaps that's just me, but it can be toxic, and it's not nice. 

Something interesting I found when doing some very basic research into this, overthinking is linked to depression, and anxiety. I think it's important that note that people should be aware of this, and Psyweb have an interesting article you should read this

To me this is eye opening, I never really thought the two things connected! But as I sat pondering if this topic had any legs to talk about, I did a little Googling (and mild introspective thinking) and it does, and it makes perfect sense. I hope anyone who's had this kind of situation in their lives can take this into consideration, it really caught me unawares. 

When we move then across into the realms of mental health, this is a quick piece from a football website I read (please don't scoff!), which really can be applied regardless of job/background/situation. It's short and straight to the point, which frankly is too often overlooked, so please do read this

From a personal point of view, I keep thinking that my point isn't some cry for help, or need for pity or even empathy, but the thought that my words might inspire, or help. But the more I think of this the more I come to the same conclusion, I'm expressing personal plight and dressing it up as a human cause, exasperated by my need to claim it's for everyone. As such I think I need to say, this WAS my own situation and I wrote this a few years ago, relating to mental health. I need to be clear, this isn't a lovely read, but also I'm so aware that on the 'bad stakes' life ballot, I'm doing pretty fucking well. I feel pretty great generally, and have a very nice life, and am blessed in 101 ways, but annoyingly that's how mental illness works - you know everything, but you're somewhat helpless. I'd like to stress I'm miles better than this, and I feel ok, but I do still have down moments (as I feel EVERY human being on Earth should do, it's natural, right?) and just wanted to share with anyone who may feel down now to perhaps give it a read and just know things will always be better. Please. And if you feel they won't, then you reach out to someone, anyone, me even, and you tell them. 

I should add, the post I wrote on depression is a few years old, and I've been feeling pretty good in relation to it for a good long while, I had some good conversations with people years ago that really helped me - and bear in mind at the time the only people in the world I told were about 4 of my closest mates, 2 of which was because I basically had a bit of a breakdown in front of them. My mum only found out when she dropped something round to my flat when I was out and saw my anti-depressants. My point is, don't keep it to yourself, speak to someone - I've been off them for years and am happy to impart any advice anyone may want. However the overthinking part  is still present but I do try and get a good hold over it where possible, as some people won't even ever notice I do it, and that's how I like it. You know, me, Mr Doesntwantattentionbutwroteafuckingblogpostandtweetedit 

Thank you all so much for reading, and I suspect I know how I come across. I re-wrote this outro around 20 times, in seriousness, as I'm trying to work out exactly what I can say without being a preachy fuck. Perhaps, and just maybe I agree, I've slightly overthought this one... and for those that know me in person, sorry again, just pretend it never happened! :-)

Dan