World Mental Health Day

I wanted to write a little something specifically for this day. In hindsight I would have prepared it a while back so it was ready, but in reality I didn't even know this day existed. Not a clue. Which I think really helps to summarise how up until fairly recently it's something that has always had a stigma attached to it, and makes people not want to talk about it. We can't see it, it can't be found on an X-Ray, yet it's still something that affects just as many people as serious illness does. Just because it doesn't have a physical impact, doesn't mean that ultimately it won't result in death all the same.

It's tough to quantify such a condition, as it varies and impacts people differently. I can't quote you any stats or interesting facts as I don't know any, the only stuff I do know is from personal experience, something I've purposefully avoided mentioning, let alone talking about over the last 3-4 years. I think I'm at a stage, or nearly at a stage now where I can start to apply logistics to what it was all about and what I went through. Indeed, I was a 'sufferer' with depression.

I need people to understand that this is not any kind of 'look at me' type post, it's about as far removed from that as it can be. I've never been someone who requires or craves attention - never will be, in fact I prefer to be the quiet one in the corner and my friends can attest to that - sometimes in a pub I'll go 20 mins without saying a word, blissfully unaware of anything just listening to my two best mates rabbiting on about something in the recent news or whatever. That in itself might in fact surprise some people who think I never shut up - that's just a nervous need to talk, I can't explain it, and is often something I will do with pretty much anyone unless I've known you 15 years or more. 

The reason I'm even writing this today is because, if you are suffering, or think you are suffering, and this in any way is helpful to you or maybe even helps you discover you might be suffering, then it's done its job. If it resonates even in the slightest bit with a single person, I'll be happy. As the first problem with having a mental health issue, is even knowing you have one. I know it sounds crazy, but too often it's easy to just think you're having a bad week..then it turns into a bad month...then it's like you don't even want to get up....you don't go out for night's or want to see certain people. You prefer being alone and doing nothing, you lose motivation, and it's horrible.

Part of my own illness was that I was/is/am/maybe always will be - incredibly self critical. Everything I do I almost cringe at myself, no matter what it is, so many things I run over and wonder how I could have done something different. This especially applies to when I interact with other people. I run through a conversation a hundred times, should I have said something else, should I have picked up on something else, did I say the right thing, am I outstaying my welcome, I should go...and I'll leave. 

It escalates with booze, self criticism turns into a deep routed self loathing. Self hatred. It's not nice and I immediately feel awful for anyone in my company if this ever kicks in, luckily around 95% of the time in the last 5 years I'm alone if it does. It's shit, and the best thing I can do is remove myself from whatever I'm doing and go to sleep - not think - and just sleep it off. 

I even look back now and still get pangs of what I had - I'll never be good enough, in my eyes, and that is something that I think will resonate with me forever, but perhaps I need that. Who knows. 

I think I still remember the first time I publicly fucked up, and sort of had a mini breakdown of sorts. It was awful and I still hate myself for it - always will do - went out with some mates, and it was one of their brothers 21st bday (I think). I had a bit too much to drink but it was still early and something just kicked in and I got really down - and coupled with the drink really messed me up. I can't remember the facts and frankly I don't want to, I feel awful about the whole thing (I think they all just assumed I was off my nut and had a laugh - and I hope that's the case, I don't want to think like I messed any of the night up), but after that I realised something was up, work was going shit, I wasn't getting anywhere and I had some family nonsense going on. All together it added up and really just made me feel shit 99% of the time. The only time I felt alright was when I spoke to a friend, and this is so fucked up, after a few months they got raped and moved away forever - it was fucking traumatic for me, imagine what it was like for them. I think it just made me crash. I went to the doctor, I didn't tell a soul - I filled out a sheet that I think basically outlines how severe it was, and I remember taking far too long over a specific question - I won't say what it was but it was basically the one that is trying to conclude what is the worst thing you might do. I think I cried when I read it. I know it's regarded as suicide being a cowards way out and in a way I absolutely agree - but when you suffer from depression, and you're thinking about it, you're not thinking it as that, I was thinking about it more as being a burden on people so this would just make it easier for everyone. It's like if I moved to Australia, but obviously cheaper. That's how the thought process can work - but yeah it crossed my mind, not as a very strong case, just flitted, and I'm sure others will have thought the same, well just remember you're not a burden - someone will always be relying on you to be there, so don't let them down and let that be a motivation to yourself to stick around - we all help each other in one way or another.
 
You know when people say how shit their life is, when in reality we all know it's not - they have a home, food, water, friends, and FB so they can have it as their status. Well I truly did feel like that, and you know what - I didn't tell a soul. Not even my Mum. I just kept it to myself because I didn't want to impose my shit on anyone else's life, and I still would do the same now. It's my shit, it's mine to sort out and I'm an adult and I will win. 

Eventually I told a select few people, I think about 5 in total, still not my Mum as I couldn't face it. They were all very nice, I just said something wrong (they all said they knew something was up, which was both touching and worrying about that my behaviour must have been so shitty) and that I was suffering from depression. They were nice and said if I needed to talk. I think I got home and cried, sometimes the whole thing is so overwhelming it just gets you. I hated everything about me, and why I was so shit, why my job was shit was because I wasn't very good, I drank too much, didn't exercise, loads of things. Things I can look back at now and say it wasn't as bad as I thought. And I'm glad I can do that. That's what I want to really get across to people, it's never as bad after you come out of the dark side, it just feels like it. But you need that motivation to get past it, otherwise you will rot there forever, and only you can do it. 

I remember how close I was to telling work, but I never did, and I'm glad. They said how they thought I was perhaps in a rut and seemed a bit quiet but I didn't want to use this as a crutch, I didn't want people to know or talk about it, I didn't want pity, especially fake work pity. I felt pathetic enough already suffering from this nonsense, I didn't want to make it worse. So I kept quiet

Well anyway, I can't remember what helped in the end, apart from the countless pills and tablets I was on which helped to calm me down when I got anxious or really down. But a combination of things sort of contributed, work picked up (I got a new job at the same company), I started to really push myself into thinking I was self pitying and pick myself up - I told myself life is nowhere near as bad as I felt. I also started going running, I forced myself out more, I took solace in the things I enjoyed and felt content with, and I believed that I genuinely might be able to try and help others, share my experience, listen to their problems and ultimately try to help them however I can. And you know what, sometimes you can't instantly solve someone's problems - especially if it's mental health orientated, you have to let them first understand what they have, what the triggers might be, what the stabilisers are (i.e. what they feel ok with, or even better about), and then in their own time start to make improvements. Ultimately only they can do this, Dr's are wise to let you sort of almost self diagnose yourself. I remember filling the sheet in a couple years after it all started, and saw some improvements, and then I think the last one I did was about 8 months ago and it was so positive that they said I can take the tablets which was taking daily, once a week, if that. As of about 2 months ago I stopped taking them totally. It's not to say I'm 'cured' or 'fixed' as who can truly say with a mental health issue if you are, and I still get some of the above from time to time, and I can accept that - at least now I can battle it better and sometimes just settle and say fuck it, I'm not perfect, no one is (apart from Justin Timberlake...no? He should be, hero)

So if you're still here, and you think this might be something you feel might be creeping up on you, or even if you're in the midst to - I can't tell you it's all rosy and will be an overnight fix, it won't. But there are alot of us around and so try to just do what works for you, if you feel talking helps then do it - open up to family and friends, even if they can't find the right words to say, they WILL support you and don't ever think that they won't. I'm just a random bloke who rambles on a blog but of course you can always speak to me if you want - I'm not even remotely a professional, but I have ears and can listen. Just remember, no matter how bad things seem, I promise they are not that bad, there is always a solution even if it's not clear right away - sometimes it takes someone else to help point that out. Try to embrace what you do have, friends, family, a home, food, water, things that in some countries is sparse, I know it's a bad comparison but that's what I went for which helped me - and made me actually feel so much happier, I motivated myself with that, and then decided how lucky we are - anyone who reads this is somewhat fortunate to even have the internet - I've started to support charities more with work related donations, as well as personal ones that mean something to me and I can start to feel like I can give back, and almost give myself a new sense of purpose. Selfish, perhaps, but hey, we got to find our stabilisers somewhere.

Thanks for listening.

Dan (@french84)

Munich...No, Oktoberfest!!!....No wait, Munich

Hi all,

Thought I would write a little post just about my recent few days away in Munich for the start of Oktoberfest, the biggest beer festival in the world - which strangely starts in September...

It began by waking up at 3.30am, for my mate to drive us to Stansted airport. Why you ask? Because flying from Gatwick to Munich is like £350, whilst if we flew from Stansted to Nuremberg then got the train to Munich - it was £65 for train and flights. God this is very exciting so far right  :-/

Anyway, had our first pint at 6am at the airport. Standard...at Stansted (guffaw), all pretty non eventful - got over there, and sailed through customs - very efficient (It's just a fact). Had an hour to kill in Nuremberg, so walked round the centre, and what a lovely place! Very cool old buildings and like a castle of sorts... and an Irish bar. Always a fucking Irish bar.
Got on the train, which is an hour to Munich, and what a train!! Was amazing - had like adjustable flap headrest things, footrests, and a bar on the carriage! Very cool. We put a half full bottle of water on the floor at the start of the journey, and by the end it had still stayed upright! That's how gentle the train ride was, very impressive.

Anyway to Munich we arrived, and now the fun sort of begins. My friend and myself got there about 4 hours before our other mate arrived, with the 4th arriving the next day (for his 30th). We had a nice wander around the city, which is also pretty cool. Lovely architecture, old feel as didn't get rebuilt like Berlin, and a great atmosphere.
We did what any 'Brits Abroad' should do, found a bar with a 'hot' barmaid and got 2 Stein's. If you don't know, a Stein is a litre of beer, about 2 pints. You feel tiny when holding one, birds - you'll probably need two hands, but you'll look laddish.
In hindsight, the barmaid was not at all fit. In fact she was horrifically ropey. I let my mate pick, as he's obsessed with being able to perve on women, as has a GF (look but don't touch motto). She was Asian which is why he liked her. Fake tits, and about 50. But still she was pleasant enough and we tucked into some typical Munich cuisine of Sausage, warm potato salad and Sauerkraut . Sauerkraut is horrid over here as we do it weirdly, but there it's really tasty, think it's basically pickled shredded cabbage, and it's great. We had a bit of chat, and a really weird question arose from my mate (he's a bit...I dunno, odd in regards to his opinions.) He said - what's worse, texting an ex or sleeping with someone. I obviously said the latter, and he immediately said I was wrong, and it was the former, because it shows there is still feelings and he couldn't take that. I laughed, perhaps a touch too hysterically as he got very defensive and said he consulted "some people" who all agreed with him. I have a nagging feeling those he consulted had all cheated. He refused to accept my point, and it was just a bit odd. I'm fairly sure if I ran the same 'test' most would surely agree that sleeping with someone was alot worse?! I'd be interested to hear some thoughts on that.

We wandered a bit more and found this amazingly large 'hall' and no it's not the world famous one, that comes later, but just some random one in a park - and inside it was half old school benches and beers type, the other half a fancy cocktail bar but in this HUGE open space. It was quality. Obviously we sat at the bar, and drank Stein's as the classy 'Brits Abroad' we are!
Our mate got in a bit after, met for a beer then went to the hotel. Oh yeah the hotel we booked was a bit cheaper than others we looked at - but it was incredibly nice, except it was SO FAR AWAY. 30 Euro taxi ride later and we arrived. We got some Champers as my mate is obsessed, toasted, drank, listened to 50 Cent on his laptop, and headed out into the night.
We got the taxi driver to take us to a nice decent bar.... he took us to... AN IRISH PUB!! Why when I go abroad would I want to go to a fucking Irish pub?!! I know I don't exactly come across as a cultural hub, but I seriously would prefer something local and not what I could find in every fucking town in the world. Anyway, got in, got a drink, had a laugh, then inexplicably my mate was a moron - bought another bottle of champagne (if he reads this he might kill me), drank about a mouth full then declared he was "bored" and wanted to leave right away. We gave the bottle to a tramp, as no one in the pub would want such a drink, and rather than head on to the next place, he in fact got in a sulk and said everything was boring... so we went home. He went to bed and I got a Chinese with the guy I'd travelled over with. Was very romantic, 2 lads, quite drunk, drinking beers and smashing back a Chow Mein.

If you're still with me, thanks, I wish I was more to the point, I ramble way too much. Anyway next day, woke up, did some boring stuff, got lunch (more Sausage and potatoes and Sauerkraut for me, why change a winning formula!).
We then headed to the place we'd been looking most forward to, the Hofbräuhaus (the Hof from now on) which is basically Munich's permanent beer hall. It's pretty famous and is absolutely HUGE. You go in and just have to find yourself a bench - it's all big benches and huge tables, then you get served by waiters who essentially look out for beerless folk. You drink Stein's (Pussy drinks are available) and can eat some fairly awesome food if you want.
My friend had stated he thought it best we didn't get too drunk to meet the 4th friend at about 8pm at the station, as it was his bday and we were going to some club called Pasha later. We agreed.... but I mean the Hof just has this amazing atmosphere which makes me not really want to leave. Ever.
We were firstly joined on our 8 man table by these 4 old people (ALL types come to Oktoberfest) who were great fun and taught me how to drink a Stein like a G, by doing some weird trick to picking it up, then they got replaced by an Ozzy legend and his 'friend' from Seattle. There was more to that than they were letting on, and I think as the day progressed we tried finding out more. We then had these 2 guys from Amsterdam. One looks SO shady and the other was this huge, ripped, ginger guy. Turns out the shady one is basically a 'pimp' even though he doesn't like the term, he prefers to say that he simply owns 2 houses where he lets girls live with him, has a no drug policy (apart from weed obviously) - to make him feel better I just said perhaps it's better he looks after them than them being on the streets, homeless, raped and taking drugs... a real mood lifting move by me! The big one was a hero, good banter and I think we arm wrestled him at some point, it seemed apt. Then the Ozzy guy/Seattle girl left and were replaced by 3 girls from another table who had some creep asking them weird questions (do you want to taste my dumplings, whilst winkink) - the ginger told him to do one, and we had a proper laugh with them. The girl told me she was tri-sexual. Yep you read that write, Tri-Sexual. She does boys, girls, and trans gender - I think that's what she said, I was quite drunk by then and had plenty of banter - she was from Canada so I made her say "About" alot.
The time came where we had to leave for the station, and we invited them to Pasha, in fact we worked out we invited EVERYONE who was at our table to Pasha, the latter few seeming very keen in fact. We left, walked to the station and met the mate - happy birthday etc, then another 30 Euro cab to the hotel to change - then straight back out - we suggested the fancy bar we'd been to, since it wasn't the other friends idea he deemed it "shit" despite never having gone there, and just made us go straight to the club, so we were the first ones there. Great.
Anyway picked up after a bit, but the music was horrific, this club is fairly "posh" in that Bayern Munich players often go there apparently. Anyway I think the day's events had caught up to us, and we all started leaving around 1, but all separately for some reason, I got chatting to some big bloke in the table next to us who said he was a celeb and a millionaire, and gave me loads of his expensive Moet. It was a bit strange, and he supported Chelsea. I then decided it was time to leave. Got a taxi home, but realised I had no money, so had to make him drop me at a cashpoint where he shouted abuse and threats if I ran off - top bantz

Finally we get to our last day, Oktoberfest day! We woke up fairly hungover, and once 2 mates declared they wouldn't wear Lederhosen, I got in my budget ones - and found out it looked like I was in an AWFUL porn film. They were basically PVC. The German in our group who'd been to Oktoberfest a few times had said he'd never seen such a bad pair of Lederhosen in his life. I eventually opted to rip them up, and tried the others but they were too small, I looked like a hunchback. So I got into normal clothes, leaving just 1 of us in Lederhosen. As we left the hotel it looked like the 3 of us were taking our 'special' friend out for a daytrip and he'd put on his favourite costumer, it was hilarious. Anyway we got there, and my god that Oktoberfest itself is so big! They erect loads of these temporary beer halls, like the Hof, as well as tonnes of rides like a carnival or something. I dunno how many people were there, but it was more than any festival I've been to, perhaps like 300k? I dunno, more? It did mean that getting into a beer tent was very difficult, mostly because we had gone on the 1st official day that Oktoberfest had started! We were hungover, tired, and it was really warm - we walked around for the best part of an hour, saw everything but could not get anywhere. So we decided to find somewhere to get a beer just outside, regroup, then launch an assault later. We came across a pizza place down the road - could see all the crowds coming and going, and got some Steins. Lederhosen Lad said he was at "7%" so in fact decided to go home! The 3 of us remaining actually then said we'll go to a pub to watch the football.
YES THAT'S RIGHT
We went to Oktoberfest, the biggest beer festival in the world, AND COULD NOT GET A BEER. We LITERALLY couldn't manage to arrange a piss up in a brewery! It's so tragic that we've embraced it. What a failure.
Anyway rest of the trip was fun, watched Bayern absolutely destroy Shalke 4-0 away (2nd biggest league rivals) - went back to the Hof and met some characters but not worth discussing, went back to the hotel - and my mate and myself had a rather deep conversation. It's quite uncharacteristic of us to do such a thing, as whilst I quite like a deep chat sometimes it's not something I think they really think about, or care to do, perhaps it show's weakness or something. No idea, anyway was very interesting and we touched on my illness (I've never spoken 'publically' about that before, it's pretty much gone by now, but I always thought it would come across attention seeking - but people say you should speak out, perhaps I will soon, when I feel I can talk about it adequately to provide advice to others...we'll see) and it was very nice actually.

Woke up at 5am to head back to Blighty, flying with Ryan Air was fairly painless - except that they gave me some randomers boarding pass which I hadn't really checked, causing some banter at the gate when boarding the flight, but it was fine - drove back from Stansted and basically slept for the next few days.

All I can say is Oktoberfest is cool, but Munich is AMAZING, the whole city was buzzing for the festival - so just because we weren't in that part - didn't mean I felt we missed out - the Hof was never anything other than totally packed, and the same with every bar and pub we visited. I'd love to go back and tackle the festival properly with some better planning and going perhaps 2 weeks in when it dies down slightly (as opposed to 5 hour queue's), and that is my advice to you as well. Other than that it was an excellent trip!

Sorry if this was more boring than usual - it was all true and whilst some incredibly hilarious moments at the time, it's hard to convert into text!

Football Predictions

Right it's as simple as it sounds

Below are a series of questions, and the answers given by those who decided to get involved. The idea will be to then look back and see who has Godlike ability, and who totally cocked it all up. Should be a bit of fun! (Contact me if you still want to get involved)

So let's crack on, those taking part are below:

@french84
RCW
TF
TB
@MainlyAnArse
@Ndashing
@Henryjsb
@zoggers87
@Tsommerfelt1
@mdig83
@Jbizzle1982
UI


League Winners

@french84: Man City
RCW: Chelsea
TF: Begrudgingly...Chelsea
TB: Man City
@MainlyAnArse: Man Utd
@Ndashing: Chelsea. because their front attacking players were awesome to watch and with Jose's defensive mindset I cant see them being beat very often this season.
@HenryJSB: Man City
@zoggers87: Man City – Chelsea look strong under Mourinho, but at the moment with signings made, City look too strong in all areas, and if the attacking midfielders gel with the strikers they could score a lot of goals. 
@Tsommerfelt1: Chelsea

@mdig83: Chelsea
@Jbizzle1982: Man City
UI: Man City. As it stands with Chelsea yet to sign a striker Man city will grab the title by a few points, although Chelsea will make it close 

and if they were to sign a striker could still end up giving Jose a dream return back to England. 

Top 4, in that order

@french84: Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs
RCW: Chelsea, United, Man City, Spurs
TF: Chelsea, United, City, Spurs
TB: Man City, Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal
@MainlyAnArse: United, Chelsea, City, Arsenal
@Ndashing: Chelsea, see above. City - I like pelegrini because of his ocean blue eyes and his softly spoken demeanour. he will succeed at City BUT the problem is He will come short winning the title. I expect city and chelsea will be miles ahead of the 3rd and 4th placed teams. Spurs - with Bale I would expect Spurs to be title contenders and thats not biased talk. without bale spurs satill have the third best squaD in the league and AVB is an year wiser and is bringing in his own players. Expect Spurs to compete across all cups this season. There is strength in depth. United - will finish fourth Theirs is the most average of squads no matter what any united fan will say and now MOYES has a big job on his hands. It will all prove too much and I expect him to be out by xmas. SOS FOR SIR ALEX
@HenryJSB: Man city, Chelsea, Man Utd, Spurs
@zoggers87: Man City, Chelsea, Man Utd, Spurs – unless Arsenal buy very well in the last few weeks of the window then this will be the year Spurs overhaul them, even without Bale.
@Tsommerfelt1: Chelsea, Man United, Man City, Arsenal
@mdig83: Chelsea, City, United, Spurs
@Jbizzle1982: Man City, Chelsea, Man Utd, Arsenal
UI: Man City, Chelsea, Spurs, Man Utd. Man city and Chelsea will be battling for the title while 

Spurs have built a very strong squad and should find getting top 4 easy this season unless they choke again. 

Who's getting relegated

@french84: Crystal Palace, Hull, Stoke
RCW: Hull, Crystal Palace, Stoke
TF: Crystal Palace, Hull, Stoke
TB: Crystal Palace, Hull, Cardiff
@MainlyAnArse: Stoke, Hull, Crystal Palace
@Ndashing: Hull, Palace, Stoke (this is wishful thinking) i tip them to go down every year but this could be the year
@HenryJSB: Crystal Palace, Hull City, Norwich City
@zoggers87: Hull, Crystal Palace and Stoke – Hull and Palace are woefully short. Hull’s top scorer in their promotion season was George Boyd with 9 and he only joined in January and isn't an out and out front player. It shows how poor their strikers are and Danny Graham won’t do much to alter that. Palace will give it a go and score goals but will be found wanting at the back, whilst Mark Hughes will struggle with a Stoke squad lacking much quality. 
@Tsommerfelt1: Crystal Palace, Norwich, Hull 

@mdig83: Crystal Palace, Hull, Stoke

@Jbizzle1982: Stoke, Hull, Crystal f**king Palace
UI: Sunderland, Hull City, Crystal Palace

Top Scorer

@french84: Dzeko
RCW: RVP 
TF: RVP
TB: RVP
@MainlyAnArse: RVP
@Ndashing:  Suarez is banned for 6 games.. and who knows what other bat shit mental stuff he will do.. maybe he will eat a pregnant lady's placenta as a goal celebration as the kop sings we never walk alone and be banned for 12 games or something..every one will say RVP but i have my doubts because united have no providers..I am gonna say Sergio Aguerro. He will have a big big year and he is in my fantasy team
@HenryJSB: RVP
@zoggers87: Roberto Soldado - Spurs have been crying out for a striker who can score but also fit into their build up play in the way that Defoe can’t.
@Tsommerfelt1: RVP
@mdig83: RVP
@Jbizzle1982: RVP
UI: Wilred Bony

How will the 3 promoted teams do

@french84: Palace are going to struggle big time, 20th. Hull just look uninspiring, will be 19th. Cardiff will scrape it (Caulker to play his way into the WC squad), 17th
RCW: Hull – 20^th (relegated) Crystal Palace – 19^th (relegated) Cardiff City – 15th
TF: Palace will be bottom by miles, Hull will be second bottom, Cardiff (16th)
TB: As above, all going down in that order
@MainlyAnArse: Hull and Palace will probably end up with 9 wins between them and Cardiff will survive on the last day of the season.

@Ndashing: 2/3 PROMOTED TEAMS WILL GO DOWN...Cardiff seem like they have the right idea and they might finish mid table.
@HenryJSB: Palace will go straight back down, Hull will battle but their fate will ultimately be the same. Cardiff is the only team I can see keeping their heads above water.

@zoggers87: Hull and Palace will go down. Cardiff have spent a bit more and whilst they will still be in the mix, I think they will finish above the bottom three.
@Tsommerfelt1: Crystal Palace and Hull relegated. Cardiff will come 15th

@mdig83: Cardiff to just about survive, the other two to go with very low points total

@Jbizzle1982: Hull & Crystal f**cking Palace to get relegated like Chumps. Cardiff to be about 15th
UI: Relegation battle for all 3, simply not strong enough apart from a few freak results here and there, they will all be in trouble

Best new signing

@french84: Pains me to say it, but Soldado
RCW: Jesus Navas
TF: Soldado
TB: Ricky van Wolfswinkel (for the name mainly)
@MainlyAnArse: Lovren
@Ndashing: Jesus navas - a lot of English journos have written him off already, but he had most assists in La Liga last year. he will surprise a lot of people and be a revelation. 
@HenryJSB: Negredo
@zoggers87: Paulinho looks like an excellent player who should suit the Premier League.
@Tsommerfelt1: Wilfred Bony

@mdig83: Soldado, is exactly what Spurs need

@Jbizzle1982: Stefan Jovetic
UI: Ricky Van Wolfswinkel

Bargain of the season

@french84: Leroy Fer 
RCW: Emanuele Giaccherini
TF: Arouna Kone
TB: Kolo Toure
@MainlyAnArse: van Wolfswinkel
@Ndashing: Soldado - i know what you are thinking 28 mill is not a bargain but spurs haven't had a decent forward since the days of Ronny Rosenthal and if Soldado taps in 20 goals this season then the money they will get from CL will make this a bloody bargain
@HenryJSB: Nicholas Anelka
@zoggers87: Leroy Fer, the best of Norwich’s signings, and for an affordable fee. Should do well.

@Tsommerfelt1: Bony (Again)

@mdig83: Leroy Fer

@Jbizzle1982: Gary Hooper
UI: Loic Remy

Flop of the season

@french84: Andreas Cornelius
RCW: Mark Hughes
TF: Fernandinho
TB: Nicholas Anelka
@MainlyAnArse: Bony
@Ndashing: Wiyanama 12 million for this guy ?? Jesus Christ the TV money has made a lot of people stupid
@HenryJSB: Stefan Jovetic. I acknowledge this may make me look extremely stupid come season's end. But I'm putting all my eggs in the Negredo basket lol.

@zoggers87: David Moyes – won’t win a major trophy and already moaning about the fixture computer’s randomness or alleged lack of
@Tsommerfelt1: Not sure (Ed: Bony?)
@mdig83: Andreas Cornelius
@Jbizzle1982: Wayne Rooney
UI: Luiz Suarez

First manager sacked

@french84: Steve Bruce
RCW: Mark Hughes
TF: Mark Hughes
TB: Alan Pardew
@MainlyAnArse: Mark Hughes
@Ndashing: - Pardew and only because its going to be amazing to see Joe Kinnear back in charge! 
@HenryJSB: Alan Pardew
@zoggers87: Alan Pardew will be in trouble if Newcastle don’t start well. Kinnear will be keen to bring Lawrie Sanchez in.

@Tsommerfelt1: Steve Bruce

@mdig83: Alan Pardew

@Jbizzle1982: Alan Pardew

UI: Alan Pardew!

Any predictions for something rather zany to happen at some point this season

@french84: Fairly sure Di Canio will do something batshit mental, get fired, and all the players rejoice
RCW: No.
TF: No.
TB: Wenger to finally snap, throw a haymaker at Mourinho, only to miss and fall over
@MainlyAnArse: Arsenal fans will have a very posh protest outside the Emirates and Norwich win the League Cup 

@Ndashing: BONY AND KONE to create a boy band of some sort..
@HenryJSB: Not on your Nelly

@Tsommerfelt1: Suarez to bite Howard Webb's head
@zoggers87: Hazy CCTV footage obtained by The Sun show Mourinho tampering with the FA fixture computer in July...
@mdig83: Arsenal to actually sign a world class player? 
@Jbizzle1982: Paolo Di Canio will get a massive ban for smoking one of his own players, possibly with a fish! 
UI: Joe Kinner to replace Pardew and then be sacked himself all before Jan 

@Zoggers87: Again. Somehow. Full Table  

1. Man City

2. Chelsea

3. Man Utd

4. Spurs

5. Arsenal

6. Liverpool

7. Swansea

8. Everton

9. Southampton

10. Fulham

11. West Ham

12. Aston Villa

13. West Brom

14. Newcastle

15.Norwich

16. Cardiff

17. Sunderland

------------------------

18.Stoke

19.Crystal Palace

20. Hull City

Thanks to all who got involved, interested to see how it ends up! 

Ah romance....no wait EPIC FAIL Lulz

There's something about me clearly. And that's not a good thing, it's a bad something about me, it's probably my uninterest in fashion...or something.

This post is just going to sound really self pitying, and it sort of is! Listen to my woe.

So if you've read some of my posts before I usually ramble on about ideas or aspects of life or something, and one of those was actually about internet dating. Well, using a website to meet people, not literally dating someone over the Internet, buying her animals for her Farmville or whatever. Not yet anyway.

I used a website, which I joined a few months back - at first like an excited child I rampaged through it, sending messages willy nilly asking people "Hi bby, u got cam?" and "a/s/l?" - well not quite, but you get the jist.
Anyway over the last 1-2 months I've really chilled out, going on it maybe weekly to see what's there, getting bored, sighing alot, and then getting back to work. Or what have you.

Well the whole thing is grating me a bit. All these girls with promises of "message me if you want to know more" so obviously I oblige their request with a friendly "TELL ME MORE THINGS ABOUT YOU THAT WERE NOT LISTED" - and they don't even reply! They look at my profile (the semi-stalkerish functions the site allows tells me this) clearly think I look horrific, and don't reply. #Pied

Then the best one is, I see someone I know - whether from real actual life, from Twitter, or even from work. I don't realise at first and so click on their profile. Well that's it, I'm in too deep already as they will be able to see that. So what the hell do I do next?! That's it, it's a commitment to make - do I simply leave their profile, indicating I've seen them, I've read their profile and decided I'll meekly back away and pretend it never happened?
Or do I embrace the fact we're both here, both single, and both know one another to a certain level. Do I make a light hearted joke (WE'RE BOTH SO LONELY LOL), or do I just say something to chat, to show that I'm super cool with this whole internet dating business. Or the 3rd one, do I flirt?

I've tried all 3, and let me tell you - quite a few girls are just mean! Even them, the ones I (sort of) know, just ignore me! In fact I think one blocked me!! Fuming I was.
They feel their above me clearly - both on a dating site, but nooooo she would never consider lonely little me, pathetic single Dan. She only went on their for 'banter' or something.
Or worse than that, the ones who do reply, cool we have a bit of a laugh etc - I then just suggest a drink (why not, we're both single right, it's just a drink not a life commitment...or is it...) and they still say no! #UBERMEGAPIED

It takes alot out of you, this single business sometimes. It's not like I'm not trying to be a loser forever, but it seems the world is adamant that every Friday night will be me alone in my flat, crying into my Baileys whilst watching Hannibal. Fine. Fuck you life.
So yeah, as said, I really think there's something about me (insert, yes your ugly face zings here)

What a bloody brilliant idea....right?!

Well in case you missed it yesterday I came up with a bloody brilliant idea!

Granted it depends on a couple of certainties, but assuming that's all good then this will work a treat.

I know we're no longer squimish teenagers and are capable of answering the phone to numbers we don't know, I still get a bit nervous. Like who the FUCK wants to call me who I don't know!
Where did they get my number from, is it another of those 'hilarious' pranks where my number is attached to the picture of a Google searched 'naked woman' promising things like a "good time"? I just can't be sure.

Therefore if a number calls your mobile which you don't recognise (or a home phone for that matter) and is a mobile (the number calling you MUST be a mobile) and it won't work on private or withheld numbers, as will become obvious why. All you need to do is to save that number in your phone under any old name, I opt for 'Rogue#1' usually.
Once saved in your phone book, go to Whatsapp and search for that person, assuming they also have Whatsapp as so many people do, you'll be able to see their photo and more than likely identify who is calling you!
ALSO this can be done for random text messages you receive too, same principle since you don't have the number saved. Really helps to avoid that awkward question of "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS"

There are dependancies obviously, it must be a mobile, it needs to show the number and they need to have Whatsapp but assuming that's all fine, then voila, case solved.

Personally I think this is quite smart as I've had 2 totally random numbers text me lately and I didn't know who it was, did that and realised it was old friends who I hadn't saved!

Great use would be if you've just got a new SIM/Phone with no contacts saved, you've already got your essential contacts saved, and then it's perfect for stragglers or whatever who are texting you out the blue - do it there to save an awkward convo!

You're welcome.

The Future of Credit Cards (SO exciting)

Evening all,

I'm writing this looking out my window at the still nice and sunny evening, where I've stepped outside for about 4 mins to take out the rubbish. I've been hungover but mostly just lazy.

I dunno if anyone will read this blog post, it's going to be pretty boring unless you've got a specific interest in it - but I think it's quite cool. I believe that within the next 5 years the credit card as we know it, will be dead.

Since I work in the industry this interests me, but also for being a customer with a credit card it's quite cool to see where this is all going.

I was reading an article in the doctors surgery a couple of months back, and it was about the guy who made Twitter of all things, has now moved onto his next ideas - which is the digital world of finance.

His plan, and I think this is how we'll naturally move - will be to turn physical plastic credit cards, into metaphorical cards that just exist on your phone or tablet.

It's easy to see how, one new thing with credit and debit cards is the contactess technology. If the store does it, and your spend is under a certain amount you simply waive your card under a scanner (after the teller has added up what you've bought) and then it's done. Paid. Simple.

So I think the next stage, will be to expand on this to larger sums with more stores taking part. But equally what if the credit cards 'chip' could be installed on a phone? The next lot of smart phones have the ability to install this chip - so it acts as your credit card - even being able to simply scan it at a Contactless store.
Then the next step - why the need for a teller? We always joke that robots will take our jobs, but what if they took over the high street stores too? And not even a robot - simply something digital with just a store manager needed (and perhaps 1 member of staff, just in case)
So you enter the store with your smart phone and credit card chip - you get your goods, and go to pay, swipe and done.

Take it a step further. What if as soon as you enter the store, GPS on phones is so accurate that it knows you're in the store. What if there was an app (there already is, so let's hope it takes off) that the store has - where it then picks up you've entered the store - you have an 'online profile' of sorts, and that you get your goods - and go to pay and the total is simply billed to your online profile (As it has a card linked to it) and that's it - you leave - no wallet, no swipe, and I would imagine little to no queue.

The ideas after this start to get a bit tricky without planning. I imagine shops will get rid of their tills and replace it with a iPad or other tablet, that runs an app which has a barcode scanner and stuff - and automatically lists the customers profiles who have entered the store - you just confirm who you are - and then as saiid before you're items/total are charged to this account.

What if your phone app had the same scanner, and YOU scanned the items (this is the bit which needs planning, as obviously this might just cause mass theft etc) - and then you didnt even need to queue or anything.

Actually perhaps the store has this ipad with it's app - but it also has this like 'check in' screen at the front of the store, so you just swipe your phone as you enter. But I dunno, that might be meaningless if the GPS is so good the store auto picks up when you enter. But I might be a bit optimistic here!

The app could also make you aware of any offers that exist, i.e. running alongside 4Square and telling you about any of their offers in the place you are in (As this could work in restaurants very easily). That would be cool AND provide an invaluable customer service.

All of this certainly points to one thing - the death of credit cards as such - there will be no need for them anymore - maybe even becoming a novelty of sorts - however I guess the downsides are what if you lose your phone - how does that work I wonder - or you simply don't have one, or a very old one incapable of using the technology - it throws up some interesting questions which I don't have the answers for. (Though one might be to be sent the chip which you simply place in your wallet)

Either way as I said I find this stuff really interesting and in my job I'd love to move into a department that do all this kind of stuff - but that's irrelevant to this - god knows if you found that interesting but I'd imagine the majority simply don't care!

Cheers

The Wedding, The Speech, The Booze...

So my friends big day finally came round. Yesterday he married his girlfriend, in what was a really nice day. And I was his ill chosen best man. I must say I performed my duties minimally and awfully.
However I did do my speech, which I've copied a few bits from below if you want to steal bits for future use and that got a few laughs thank goodness! Including a hand shake from the groom's dad, and trust me that is hard to get!

I managed to drop the ring in the middle of the ceremony as well (Great work Dan), and when they said does anyone have any reason these two blah blah blah - I got a huge nudge from the person next to me that I was surprised and laughed a bit too loudly!

The rest of the day (we did the speeches before food) was spent boozing. Basically from 2pm - 12am non stop drinking. I had 1 pint and the rest of the time was just Whiskey and Dark Rum (with ginger beer weirdly, which tasted amazing!)

Of course being that drunk did have some comedy moments which were, the whole wedding/reception etc was in this lovely manor in the country, and it's a hotel too - I somehow, no idea how, wondered along a corridor, and opened a door to end up in the Chef's bedroom!!!!! So strange, I just wondered in and sat on his floor. He was up watching tv and had like a studio flat. All I remember is telling him the Chicken was excellent. I think he was pretty surprised by my random entrance and kindly took me back to the party!

The fun didn't end there. Oh no. A few of us got a taxi back home, and after getting dropped off, I realised I'd left my keys in my jeans back at the venue (As I'd gotten changed into my suit there) and was still in the wedding suit. So I had to buzz my neighbour to let me into the communal hallway bit, where after trying to push my door open (Why even bother) decided to sleep on the stair case for about 4 hours. Fully dressed. In a wedding tux.
I then stood outside for a while, before remembering my window was a bit dodgy, and forced it open, and climbed through it!! If anyone saw that they would have been so confused to see a very smartly dressed man basically breaking into a flat.

Good times. I've just been told one bar bill was rather expensive - probably down to me!

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you are all enjoying what has been a brilliant wedding celebration!

I'm glad that you're all here to share in this monumental celebration.

 I want to start out by acknowledging all the lovely bridesmaids. They did a wonderful job today and I think you'll agree that they all look absolutely stunning!

Unfortunately every silver lining has a cloud, so here I am.

I’d also like to say that Bex looks one in a million today ...as opposed to Steve who looks like he was won in a raffle.

A bit about me, my name ‘Dan what-would-you-like-to-drink’.

I hope many of you will come and say hello at the bar later - but I do insist you use my full name.

 And it is my pleasure to be Best Man for Steve today.

I have never been a best man before, and I am not renowned for my speech writing, But I’ll try my best, '''cause Steve said if I do a good job today, I can be Best Man at his next wedding, too.

So Bex and Steve you’ve finally got married, for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Steve couldn’t have done any better and Bex couldn’t have done any worse.

Somebody once said marriage is a 50/50 partnership – But anybody who believes that knows nothing about women or fractions.

Steve my only piece of advice is to never forget those 3 magical words…’you’re right dear’

So then Ladies and Gentlemen, It gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief, to invite you all to stand one more time and raise your glasses, in a toast to Bex and Steve. The new Mr & Mrs Bean. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage.

Well that got me slightly stressed!

As some or none of you might have seen me Tweet, I'm the best man at a friends wedding. Wonderful stuff, though it all feels a bit odd - but nevermind, that's a story for another time. So obviously being best man immediately means I'm going to have to make a speech at the wedding, and more importantly, plan the stag do.

Easy you'd think, as essentially you're just arranging a piss up. You'd think eh. I understand now why those stag companies exist that plan it all for you - specially if you're a largish group. I decided to do it myself.
I got the list to 14 of us - and the first thing the stag tells me, he's got no money. No one wants to spend much. Great.
There goes the plans I had (Manchester/Liverpool for a weekend was an idea), whilst abroad was also an option. No, none of that. Only choice is to keep it local. Already I feel it's not going to be great, it's basically just a lavish night out.

Anyway, enough of all that - I'd done the arranging and looked about for what to do, we went to a pretty cool Go Karting place in Lancing, after meeting in one of the worst pubs I've ever set foot in, and that was apparently the nicest one in Lancing! Wonderful. I hired a Limo, but the bloke broke the gear box that afternoon so gave us the 'Party Bus' instead - which was actually pretty awesome! I booked a table at Lola's, one of the nicer clubs here (we're not 'clubby' people really). But the whole day I found incredibly stressful really, always thinking should I be doing more, do I lead the charge, what extra's can I sort out etc. I hated it, and in truth I don't think I did a great job. I think I did ok, for what it's worth, but basically we didn't start drinking properly until 8.30pm - which is shocking, but was impossible before due to the annoying Go Karting times.
For the 'Party Bus' I got a tonne of extra booze, Jager's, Sambucca, Vodka - there was Champagne and Beers too. In the club I sorted out a couple of bottles too - and we got extra drinks etc. But I wanted to make sure everyone had fun, and we got to places on time, and this and that. I hate it. I don't really want to do it again - and probably won't have to in fairness!

This sounds such a downer doesn't it - but there were some funny moments, it wasn't the worst stag do ever I assure you - we all got hammered, and home at 4am ish, so that's a plus.
Less of a plus was a random being sick down my back and the bouncer trying to throw ME out for it!! As I pointed out whilst being topless in a club, how the hell would I have managed to do that - he concurred before laughing at me (I had a T shirt on under which I wore after getting it washed, sprayed by the man and then hand dried so it was ok, I shall burn the jumper though!
 I stitched the stag up with a couple of funny outfits and he'll probably always have bad memories when the song 'Tainted Love' plays again. Good.

Overall I would say when planning a Stag Do, do it away from where you live, just for the experience of not having a standard 'night out' - is my suggestion, you feel a bit free-er so to speak. And whilst it's stressy and whatnot, as long as the stag is quite chilled, it's always a good laugh  - I hope everyone had fun! Fuck knows why I wrote this, think I just fancied getting my thoughts on paper so to speak! (and yes, I've left out a few things that won't be mentioned in any kind of public place!)

Arsenal: Bayern Preview...well not really

Where the fuck do I start?

I originally was looking to write some kind of piece on the Bayern vs Arsenal 2nd leg of the Champions League. However I really don't want to, I'm not in the most optimistic of moods really, and Fabianski is due to start his 1st game of the season. We're so fucked.

Being honest, we're a club that always feels sorry for ourselves. I think we do it more than any other Premiership team. We're so weird. We have a manager who truly believes we should be challenging for the Premier League - yet I don't think a single other soul, including the players believe this. It was obvious from the outset we would struggle even for the Champions League, and so here we are, and unsurprisingly that's exactly the case.

The thing is, finishing 5th in the Premier League is not a bad postion at all, in fairness. It's not mid table nothingness, it's not some kind Blackburn/Newcastle esque plummet - our finances are very secure, we've got a great stadium, a very decent squad (more on that later), and a solid fanbase. It's just the feeling that we BELONG in the top 3-4 every season, which has almost boiled down to an arrogance that are market movements haven't really reflected.

I'd like to look at something I read today - an article from the excellent F365, looking at the Arsenal team that started vs AC Milan last season in a sort of preview to tonights game (Source: http://www.football365.com/f365-says/8560903/F365-Focus)



Where Are They Now? Arsenal 3-0 AC Milan, March 6, 2012
GK: Wojciech Szczesny
Although Szczesny's performances this season have provided some encouragement that he can develop into a convincing keeper, his form has been far too erratic, with recent mistakes against Blackburn and Aston Villa raising questions over his future. Is he good enough to be number one for a side challenging for third-fifth in the Premier League? Probably. Is he capable of forming a key part of a title-challenging back five? Definitely not.

RB: Bacary Sagna
"Everyone was expecting Robin van Persie to leave, but Alex Song, that was a surprise. I don't understand that at all. It is a big loss for the club. When you see two of the best players from last season leave, you ask a lot of questions. I understand why the supporters are nervous. I am the only starting player left from 2007. In May, I watched City's parade on TV. I saw Samir (Nasri) and Gaël (Clichy) lift the trophy. I want that."
After questioning Arsenal's transfer business in the summer, Sagna's own form has plummeted this season with the right-back's pathetic display in the 2-1 defeat to Chelsea revealing just how far he's fallen. Sagna has previously proved his quality for the Gunners, so his current slide must be owing to a lack of motivation and genuine belief that the team can achieve the goals set by Wenger. He's expected to hang around for another season, but only because no-one wants to sign him following his performances this year.

CB: Laurent Koscielny
There are times when Koscielny is Arsenal's best centre-back, but on other occasions he can resemble a Sunday League footballer, unable to read the game and capable of horrendous errors to gift goals to the opposition. His manhandling of Edin Dzeko in Manchester City's 2-0 victory at the Emirates is just one example of his individual errors and at 27 he should have learnt to cut out the costly brainfades. What is the reason for his lack of progress?

CB: Thomas Vermaelen
Despite being appointed captain following Van Persie's exit in the summer, this has been Vermaelen's worst season for Arsenal since his arrival in 2009. He led the Gunners to embarrassing cup defeats against Bradford and Blackburn and presented Van Persie with a gilt-edged chance to score the opening goal in United's 2-1 victory at Old Trafford. It's hard to imagine how Wenger believes Arsenal can challenge for the title when the club's current captain and leading centre-back is barely doing enough to command a regular starting spot.

LB: Kieran Gibbs
A promising talent who is sadly still injury prone. Even playing with one leg, Gibbs would offer more defensive cover than Andre Santos - who is currently being paid to spend time on loan at Gremio - but both Arsenal's left-backs from last season have now been usurped by Nacho Monreal. At the princely sum of £10million, the Spain international is expected to cement himself as the first-choice option for the foreseeable future.

CM: Tomas Rosicky
A key player when fit, with the only problem being that he's never fit. Aaron Ramsey has proved himself to be a considerable downgrade on Rosicky after replacing the 32-year-old in the first team this season, but there are few other options available to Wenger following his refusal to buy a new Alex Song. After just eight appearances in the current campaign it seems Rosicky's time at the Emirates is coming to an end, with his seven years at the club coinciding with the Gunners' frustrating decline.

CM: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Oxlade-Chamberlain excelled in a central-midfield role against AC Milan, and he suggested in the summer that it could become his regular position.
"I remember on the day I actually signed the manager asked me where I see myself. My dad was in the room and my dad said, 'He's a centre mid, he's a midfielder'. The boss sort of laughed and said, 'I think he could be as well'," said Oxlade-Chamberlain in August.
"He said maybe to start off with he'll be out wide and that part of the game will come. Last season I did play the majority on the wing when I did play and had a few games in centre mid. But the boss has been pushing more this season to try my hand in a more central position."
For some reason Oxlade-Chamberlain hasn't been used once in central midfield this season and, even though Jack Wilshere's return has perhaps blocked his path, there have been occasions when it would have made sense to test youngster alongside Mikel Arteta rather than sticking with the unconvincing Aaron Ramsey. If Wenger had been 'pushing' for the 19-year-old to move into the middle, why hasn't he played him there?

CM: Alex Song
Despite Sagna's confusion, Arsenal received a fair price for Song. The problem with his sale is Wenger's stubborn refusal to find a replacement. While Song's departure has caused Arteta to drop into a deeper role, where he has often appeared isolated, the loss of Song has also required the team's attacking structure to be changed.
The Song-Van Persie axis was responsible for much of the Gunners' creative play last year, with the Cameroonian providing 11 assists in the Premier League as he often roamed from defensive midfield. Santi Cazorla was signed to replace this part of Song's game and has settled reasonably well with 11 goals and six assists despite his inconsistent form. But changing the shape and personnel in midfield has certainly played a part in Arsenal's struggles, with the team often looking vulnerable to the counter-attacking style that was previously the hallmark of their own approach.

RF: Theo Walcott
Walcott is currently enjoying an excellent season with 18 goals and 12 assists in all competitions. I've asked before in Winners and Losers whether the winger has finally developed to the level required to replay for Arsenal or whether Arsenal have slipped to the level of Walcott and this debate seems to define the club's current standing.
After making Walcott their highest-paid player with a £100,000-a-week contract, the Gunners will expect the forward to regularly prove the difference in matches. But Walcott still has a tendency to disappear when it really matters - such as in the first leg against Bayern and the recent north London derby defeat to Spurs. When Wilshere is fit, it's clear that he is still the most influential player in the team, with Walcott playing a supporting role.
Now Walcott leads the club's pay structure, Arsenal may have opened themselves up to bigger demands from players in the future. It was certainly wise to keep the England international, but his current status as top dog points to the decline Wenger has largely refused to recognise.

LF: Gervinho
Still infuriatingly inconsistent/consistently infuriating. Gervinho is a good example of Wenger's recent poor business in the transfer market, with the forward failing to show any sort of progress since his arrival in 2011. The manager has already proffered a bizarre excuse as to why he didn't pursue Michu in the summer and it seems that he is no longer able to find the bargains that previously formed the backbone of the Gunners' title-winning teams. At around £8million (the price Wenger confirmed after being pushed by journalists) Gervinho didn't come cheap, but it wouldn't be a surprise to see him join the legion of loanees who are being paid by the club to play all over the world.
Lukas Podolski has replaced Gervinho in the first team this season after joining from relegated Bundesliga club Koln, and the Germany international has impressed sporadically with eight goals and nine assists in 25 Premier League appearances. Signing a player of Podolski's ilk outlined Wenger's intention to build for the short-term last summer, but the 27-year-old doesn't possess the quality, consistency or potential to bridge the gap at the top of the table. Indeed, Spurs' bargain price for 22-year-old Lewis Holtby represented better business.

CF: Robin van Persie
There was little Arsenal could do to keep Van Persie and the forward has proved his value at United on the way to his first Premier League trophy. Although Olivier Giroud has shown glimpses of talent in his first year at the Emirates, he is clearly a significant downgrade on the Dutchman and Wenger should have done more to ensure the France international wasn't the only real option for a centre-forward role this season.
Van Persie and Song were replaced by Cazorla, Podolski and Giroud in the summer, and between them the trio have offered around the same contribution in goals and assists thus far. But more efficiency was required to ensure that finishing fourth wouldn't be a problem. Giroud has scored in only six Premier League matches, Podolski in eight - with Arsenal scoring five goals or more in four of those fixtures. Whether Giroud, Podolski and Cazorla can consistently prove the difference in tight matches against the Gunners' top-four rivals is yet to be seen.

Subs
Lukasz Fabianski
Set to make his first appearance of the season against Bayern, which says a great deal about the direction Arsenal are currently heading in.

Johan Djourou
On loan at Hannover, presumably never to return.

Carl Jenkinson
One of the few real improvers at the club. Jenkinson kicked on at the start of the season in Sagna's absence and can expect to be involved more next season.

Ignasi Miquel
His three appearances this season have all ended in victory. Perhaps he should play every week.

Oðuzhan Özyakup
Joined Besiktas in the summer.

Park Chu-Young (for Walcott, 84')
One Premier League appearance for Arsenal last season, two goals in 17 matches for Celta Vigo this. Why was he signed?

Marouane Chamakh (for Oxlade-Chamberlain, 75')
Another cheap gamble that failed to come off. What happened to Wenger's eye for talent?



And do you know what. It's absolutely spot on. Can anyone argue with it? And it's a real worry.


You look through that list,
Park Chu-Young - I've done some research and he was purchased for £8-10million. THAT IS FUCKING INSANE. He's played about 2 games and been sent out on loan. I don't even remotely understand what part of that transfer made sense. Why isn't this mentioned more?! I don't think people were aware of his price, but we give United banter for buying Bebe at £7million, but was that any worse than this?!

Chamakh - the less said the better - he is ok but simply does not have the quality for a Champions League chasing team.

Arshavin, Bendtner, Denilson, Andre Santon, Djourou, Chu-Young, Frimpong - All on loan because their wages are too high to sell, so I've read. It's a joke. What AWFUL transfer business.

Add Squillaci, Gervinho, and to an extent Ramsey, that's 10 outfield players who are simply not upto the standard of playing for a Champions League team. I'm sorry but they are not - the question is why is Wenger so fucking stubborn about getting rid of them, is it he cannot take being proven wrong with bad signings? Look at United, Chelsea & City - if the player isn't upto it they are shipped out or replacements brought in asap who are far superior, we don't seem to do that until it's all a bit too late.

Surely you would think to simply offload these players, plus perhaps Fabianski too, and bring in 2-3 really quality players we would look so much a better outfit. It's crazy what a Central Defender, Defensive Midfielder and Striker could do to the team.


But perhaps the problem is far more deep rooted? Wenger doesn't like to think he's wrong, and has an annoying tendancy to defend his players to the death when sometimes a bit of critism would go a long way! It's natural, if your players are not performing on a regular basis I think they need to hear it. At Arseanal for too long players have been able to glide along worry free, happy picking up their wages knowing they don't have to face any critism. It's a bad thing to have, fine perhaps when you're always winning, but certainly not in the position we find outselves in.

I am a massive advocate of Wenger, I think he's a great man, highly intelligent and a winner with a winning mentality, but perhaps it's an idea to consider a more Sporting Director type role for him with a younger manager coming in?
Equally maybe Arsenal should be looking at ex players part of the winning era could be brought in as coaches, and generally a bit of an uplifting feel to the place. Why did we not bring in Vieira? Regardless of the capacity he performs at City, you don't think he would generally lift the Emirates and remind the players of a captain who didn't settle for 2nd best. Same goes for Bergkamp who is at Ajax, could we not look to bring him over if he was open to a move? Overmars also?
The one I can only assume we have looked into is when Henry finally retires, I personally feel that we simply cannot not have him at the club, he's an icon and surely the one player that the current crop of players grew up watching, he would provide such a buzz, GET HIM AT ALL COSTS!
Let him do what he wants at the club whilst he gets his coaching badges (apologies if he's got them, I don't actually know) - then bring him into the staff asap.

It's the little things. Wenger should look in the transfer market at targets who have a strong willed, winning mentality. It seems silly but would add something to the dressing room which at times seems so incredibly frail and ready to shatter. Imagine a Vieira or Henry in the dressing room this season and what a lift they would give the team - we need more players able to do that. Apart from Wilshere and perhaps Tommy V, I can't really see anyone in the dressing room standing up and bringing the team together with positive aggression, and showing a leading example on the pitch.

I think my rant is over and my point made - and we say it every season, but perhaps it's best we don't get Champions League football for the 16th season in a row. Let that sink in, coupled with the fact our arch rivals Spurs finish above us. Think of the hurt pride - the want to change that - coupled with an aggressive move in the transfer market and maybe the offloading of some of our awful players and you may finally see a different Arsenal side from what has been seen the last year or two.
Maybe.

People say when you drop out of the CL positions it's very difficult to get back in. I don't really agree, Spurs have proved it's not the case - with a few astute signings (and an in form Bale) it can be done. Why could we not do the same? Perhaps it's a better option than paying huge wages to very average players who we stupidly thought might add value to the team (Giroud had 1 good season in France, before last season he was pretty awful, even in the French 2nd division, so it shouldn't be a surprise he's not been great for us) - perhaps we need to get Graham Carr to scout for us as we've not made an inspirational signing in quite some time!


Anyway, enough about this. Arsenal, when we lose tonight, let's try to do it with some dignity at least.

Cheers