Some more NYC nonsense

Hi all,

Thought I’d give a little update on my jaunt in NYC, with a couple of minor musings and stray observations.  I guess you can read my initial thoughts here - https://french1984.blogspot.com/2018/09/im-alien-im-little-legal-alien.html - though if you like things that look nice, it looks/reads way better here - http://newyorkcliche.com/2018/10/08/brit-nyc-newbie/

The biggest bit of news I’ve got so far is relating to living. I sub-letted a place here for 2 months just after I arrived, which is a fairly common culture here but not so big back home. Usually it’s a cheaper and flexible alternative than committing to somewhere immediately, and I was fortunate enough to live with two girls, one of whom has literally been in the flat 2 nights out of the last 5 weeks (She has a bf in Brooklyn with a much nicer apartment, it’s not because she hates me. I think). The other girl is nice enough, which works for me, she has her life and that’s great – though she did nearly kill me when she left the oven on when falling asleep drunk and literally baked her pizza into the oven itself. I found it quite funny though, place stunk for a good couple of days after!

But yeah, as of last week I have now signed the lease to my own apartment for the next 12 months. It’s around the same location, East Village which is a pretty fun neighborhood, loads of bars and cool places to eat, highly recommend checking it out anyone who comes to NYC and has time to kill/doesn’t care about the touristy places so much.

Interesting quirk? The shower, is in the kitchen. Yep you read that right – however for a little more clarity, it’s still in an enclosed shower unit, but it’s next to the kitchen sink, which is odd. Then there’s a separate door for the toilet/sink. Hopefully I get used to it, though I think guests who are staying may find it slightly more alarming. Told you its quirky!  Downside to all of this, is because I have no credit history, they want a fortune up front, plus renting here, places are so expensive – probably 20/25% on top of London I’m thinking, and tiny. As such I felt compelled to negotiate extensively with the landlord as I did my homework, it was empty for a couple of months, and so I felt I had the upper hand, and ultimately ended up getting a bit of money off and a free month, so was fairly happy with that! The final bit of my negotiating secured $5 more off each month, as pathetic as that sounds, that’s how the negotiations had gone for a while but it all added  up, and now I sort of feel morally the winner here!

Food. Ah yes. Well I’ve somewhat thrown myself into the abundance of fun and amazingly tasty options that NYC has to offer, and accepted my fate of putting on some weight in the process, so much so, I have created a new folder on my phone purely for food photos. I’m such a prick. However it is so good, Ramen here is incredible, Burgers are ridiculously good in the right places, Pizza is unreal, Chicken wings, Bagels loaded with everything, enormous rolls brimming with meats and cheeses. Even the salads here are massive and often fairly interesting! Downside? Everything costs a tonne compared to back home, but you have to learn to accept it otherwise you’ll drive yourself nuts. Also from forcing myself to go to places on my ‘list’ (which is endless) I’ve learnt to be comfortable eating alone, something I never did before, especially in a sit down place. I always felt like I was just in the way/wasting a table and looked like a loser, but now I quite enjoy it! I’m pleased I took the plunge, which I appreciate when you compare to my moving seems like a drop in the ocean of ‘plunges’ but I was still quite happy with myself for that. If you’re interested I’ve posted a few food pics here - https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo_xGRbhGTi/?utm_source=ig_twitter_share&igshid=1co5z90c5wlhn (french1984)

Going back to the article I wrote on NYC previously, one of my irks related to cyclists, and I feel it was a pretty valid point, as in the few weeks since, I’ve now seen 3 incidents of varying levels of stupidity and not paying attention from cyclists which makes me now fear them even more. Twice I’ve seen them just not really look when doing a right turn out a side street when it’s OK for pedestrians to cross the avenue, and they basically just sideswiped the walker. Then they sort of half apologize half seem angry when it’s absolutely their own fault! The third was really bad as one delivery guy totally clattered into this fairly old lady (she had right of way, again) and he tried to cycle off!! Passers-by helped her out and made sure he didn’t ride off, waiting for the police and am ambulance. That would have cost the insurance company a pretty penny (ambulances out here cost thousands if you use one)!

I also like the attempt here of places to be like ‘British pubs’, I’ve been to a few now, and they are getting better than the time I went to one on the West Coast 7-8 years ago, and it had light up dart boards, and a buckin’ bronco! But it’s still a bit touch and go, like you just can feel that it’s like a pub but not a pub, especially as it refers to itself as a bar, but I’m slowly appreciating them a bit more, in fact there’s a cool one near me that Abraham Lincoln used to drink at.

Big thing here is leaving your card behind the bar with a tab, rather than buying rounds – which you can do, but seems to be a chore for the  bar so they don’t love it that much. And recently nor did I, when they accidentally gave my card to someone else – but they did wipe my tab and give me a couple of decent free drinks on the house, but still, it’s annoying.

My final new observation which is slowly annoying me, and one day I suspect I’ll explode, is here people seem to say “That’s so funny” all the time, when things aren’t remotely funny! It’s like one of those reflex responses, similar to someone typing ‘lol’ when you both know they aren’t smiling, or giving a shit what you’re saying. It’s very, very annoying.

Anyway that’ll do, thanks for anyone who’s read this far, always appreciate it since I know it’s all just a bit of self-indulgence, but figure maybe it’s mildly interesting!

Cheers!

I'm an Alien, I'm a little legal Alien...

Howdy. That's what we say over here, I think.

So I've made the move, and nearly 3 weeks in I've actually started to settle a little bit despite moving to 3 different places in 3 totally different areas of NYC. I'm now staying put for 2 months in the East Village whilst I work out the longer term plan which will probably involve me getting my own place. By place I mean something the size of your living room, places here are tiny unless you pay a huge amount.

But that's all good, it's slowly coming together, am waiting for my social security, got a US bank account (Well it's HSBC through my UK one, but I'm counting it) and am currently looking at how on earth I do my taxes for my first pay check. I say pay check, but it might literally be one, it seems banking here is pretty backwards.
In fact that brings me onto part of the reason I wanted to do this post, apart from a token update, but to just outline some of my observations that I'm sure you'll be aware of already but still worth a bit of a ramble!

So here's some things I'm either very slowly, or will simply never, come to terms with:

1. Grocery Shopping
I know we can account this to cost of living, and it's simply just what you have to pay, but I don't think I'm going to get my head around how expensive simple grocery shopping is. They just seem to mark everything up, and no matter how you look at it, I'm not best pleased about paying £3 for a bag of Doritos. £3 for a simple Orange Juice. £3 the going starting rate for basically anything. Might not seem like a huge amount, but multiply that for every item you buy and it certainly adds up!

2. Trader Joe's
Speaking of grocery shopping, there are multiple options available. You can go to a local market/bodega and get essentials and they do some other bits, that'll be a tiny bit cheaper potentially. Or there are some more well known chain places, that would be more like a Tesco Express. Whole Foods and Trader Joe's are the best example. Not a bad store by any means, but the one by me - I have literally never seen the queue not stretch halfway round the store!! And I've been there early morning, late night, random times of day, anything just to try and not queue for eternity. Impossible. I've now accepted this is my life.

3. Bikes
It's good, it's healthy, it's easy to get to work and they have a city bike scheme like some places in the UK. Great. My only issue with this is, I cannot for the life of me who has right of way on a green man. This might sound ridiculous, but honestly, these cyclists NEVER STOP. They will carry on at 0.1 MPH if it means any momentum and have no qualms just cutting across you, regardless of the traffic light situation.

4. Humidity
This one speaks for itself, but I arrived at the end of Summer, and it's meant to be a pretty mild one. WTF. I'm petrified for next Summer! Don't think I've spent more than a couple hours (usually in a well conditioned office) without sweating profusely. Multiple showers a day, fans, open windows, etc, do not help. It is horrendous.

5. Lack of self awareness
I think you can apply this to many places, but I've just really noticed it here more than even London. People just don't have self awareness, both walking and talking. Often it'll be intertwined with being on a phone, either shout/chatting with someone or just staring at the screen and having no qualms walking into you as they can't see where they are going. Even if they could, I suspect they wouldn't deviate course.

6. Subway system
This conflicts me massively. As the subway runs well, it makes sense (those rigid blocks NYC is famous for helps with the subway hugely), and getting from one end to the other doesn't take as long as you may think. But, pricing wise, it's cheap if you're going distance. You pay a set fare of $2.75, which basically means if you don't leave the subway you can go as far as you need to, making changes etc all within that fair. But as soon as you leave the subway, then it's gone and you need to get another ticket. Even if it's for one stop. Though it must be said, they do offer a weekly/monthly/annual unlimited, but if you're just a tourist passing through it can be a bit annoying.
Also, perhaps more amusingly, the ticket is basically a like our train tickets, but you have to swipe it to get through the barrier. No one can do it first time, it's hilarious with all the bleeps for rejected swipes. It's a real art!
Honestly, the NYC system could learn a thing or two from London's, in fact they are probably very aware, but just refuse to pay for any of it!

7. Pints
They aren't pints, quite simply. They will charge you more than the UK and give you less ML. It's upsetting to say the least.

8. Happy Hour
It's a big thing here, and always a good concept for cheaper drinks, no issues there. More with people, soon as it's over 90% of people just leave. It's almost like they don't want to always get smashed, the silly sods.

9. Banking system
See 'Subway System'. Basically it's like ours from the 80's. Still charge you to make bank transfers, and not just a few dollars, a solid $30 per transaction. They still use checks, a lot. Things take ages to clear. But on the flip side, they do use an app called Venmo for moving money which Paypal owns, that seems to go down well, since Paypal themselves charge for transfers. I can't use Venmo as have a UK phone, which is great.

10. Every car beeps for no reason
It just happens. All the time. For anything. Relentless

11. Forms.
The Americans absolutely bloody love forms. Fill them in for everything. The amount I've had to do thus far is ridiculous, and that's without even getting to my taxes, getting an apartment sorted, a proper bank account, or a US phone.


Well there we go, that's about it really. Everything else is going quite well, apart from my issues with what to have for dinner each night (Tiny kitchen, expensive shopping, cheaper to eat out but not wanting to dine alone, no access to the main delivery app here!). But it's a great city and is so cool being here, I'm enjoying it all and finding even the things above more like quirks than just straight up dislikes. Hopefully I'll be able to do something similar for the great things pretty soon!

Cheers,
Dan

Moving - Home and/or country, is stress. An update on my little change.

I wrote about the initial thoughts and feelings here

After not really given any update on my situation for a while, I've written an update. Lucky devils.

 I didn't do it mostly because nothing happened for ages whilst I had to wait for various things. But now I guess there’s a bit more happening – all good stuff, though I can’t help feeling a bit frustrated and sad, too.

So the good news is that my petition for a VISA was approved, which means I take that with me to the US Embassy and essentially it’s a sort of approval to give me a VISA, along with a TONNE of other documents and things, to get the sign off. They take my passport away and do what’s needed, and then I’m good to go. So that’s great, and a big relief, I wasn’t sure how it would all go – everyone said don’t worry etc, but you can never be 100% - I heard of a couple of people from work who got rejected! (Initially if I went to the Embassy directly, my chances of approval were 25%, doing the method I did went up to 90% - but delayed everything by 3-4 weeks)

I’ve also now moved out my flat, which I lived in for 9 years and really did love. That was a strange feeling – I know many of you are very au fait with moving, and are probably awesome at it. I somewhat underestimated what I needed to do, but with some fantastic support from friends and my Mum managed it ok in the end. Though bit of a weird feeling, I don’t live in Brighton anymore, odd.

I’m staying at Mum’s which is nice of her, but again, strange feeling. Haven’t got used to that yet, already the nagging has started, and I’m sure we’ll clash before long. When I used to live at home we’d have the worst arguments – really horrible ones – and I hope it doesn’t all start up again. I’m a bit more chilled now, so will try and avoid it when possible. I bet I get drunk, forget I've moved, and wonder up to my old place before remembering and suddenly realizing I'm miles away from where I'm now staying!

My next steps are then to take that petition I mentioned to the US Embassy where I’ve booked an appointment next week. However I have to wait for the hard copy to arrive, and I don’t know when that will be – so that next week may be optimistic. So much of this process is waiting for things, not really knowing when they will happen – and having to build your life around that! It’s the most frustrating thing. I don’t have flights because I don’t know when I’ll leave. I haven’t looked at apartments yet as no idea when I’ll be there. My work sponsored my VISA which was fantastic, but because they wouldn’t give me the full package I don’t have the ‘go between’ company we use who help with the transition and sort out dates and what you need to do well in advance, so I’ve done it all myself and honestly, I probably could have done things a bit better.

Now I don’t want people to think I’m not grateful, because I am. I’m fully aware how lucky I am to get this opportunity, and how exciting it is, and how it could well be life changing. But equally people process things differently, I handle a move to a new life differently than you might.

Everything just feels rushed and partially out of my control, which is very frustrating.

An example, which I know will sound silly, but still. I play football, and have done for about 4-5 years with the same group of lads. We’re a good bunch who get on well, and I’ve been the social sec for some of that time, which has been really fun. I’ve also taken over the arranging of it after my friend who started it, got injured.  Now given that my dates are fairly up in the air, I can’t say this for sure but I think that I’m playing for the last time this week, and I’ve not really said that it’s my last time, as I thought I might still be about for another, but I don’t know that for sure. I don’t expect anything from them, but it would be nice to say goodbye (as presumably some won’t make any drinks I have, since I haven’t even formally arranged any!). Little things like that

I don’t want to arrange ‘leaving drinks’ because I don’t know when I’m leaving. Have them next week and I’m still here for a month. Even though loads of people are asking. Work didn’t send out a communication that I’m moving so I’m still getting asked about my old job, and then lots of people don’t know I’m moving etc.

I’m trying to work out when I can see some of my friends who I don’t see so often anymore, for the last time. But like all the above, unsure of dates, so when to do it. Plus me going to the embassy, on top of all the other things going on, it’s just such a messy time. However I do want to say that friends have been amazing, so supportive and there for me at times of stress and whatnot, offering to help me move, allowing me to use storage space, letting me crash, and just general support. Mum has been great too, she got some of her attic boarded up so I can put my stuff there, that's why she got all my leftover food (don't laugh, she's LOVING that I have good BBQ sauce, and loads of oils and spices)

But, I do know, when it’s all done and the dust has settled, it’ll be amazing. Until then, I guess you’ll just have to bear with me. I currently estimate I'll leave around the 2nd August. No one I've spoken to agrees and thinks it'll be later. Sigh. 

Cheers

I'm off soon. Excited? Sort of, nervous? You bet

Just felt like writing a little something, so I have. Funny how that works eh! Though I have committed to writing a bit more when I move, to sort of ‘document the change’ as it were. Did I tell you I’m moving? Yeah, well, I am,

Except it’s a little further than I’d expect.

NYC. It still feels really weird to think about or say. Like I’ve been sort of thinking/wishing for this move for a good 18 months or more, and wondered how it could happen, but I never thought it actually would! It was just one of those sort of ideas you say but never do. I’m really good at them by the way!

But yeah, so it cropped up in a sort of very informal conversation at work a couple of months ago, and has slowly snowballed into what is happening now, which is getting into the final stages for approval for a work VISA.

I won’t go into all the details and bits and pieces, because mostly it’s boring, but also as it’s not finalized yet I don’t want to jinx it. But I’ve agreed to the  job and the contract  etc, so really it’s just down to me ensuring I tick the right boxes, and don’t accidentally say I’m moving in order to (And this is a real question) ‘train an army of child soldiers’. Tempting though!

Still not everyone knows, but most do, which is fine – however I’ve still not been given a date, mostly because you can’t say exactly how long the VISA will take to sort, which kind of means my whole life is in some weird status. I can’t say to perspective tenants in my flat when they can move in, as I’m unsure when I’m moving out. I can’t look for a place there, because I don’t know when I’m arriving. I can’t arrange leaving drinks, or a couple of fun things I had planned, because I don’t know if I’ll be here. Everyone asks am I excited, and it’s amazing, and I agree – but at this very moment in time, I’m not excited, I’m frustrated. I don’t like ambiguity, and this is pretty big, so I guess I just need to get on with things, I can do as much prep as possible I suppose.

But because of all this, until I get that date to work towards, or the approval of the go ahead to start the VISA application, I’m sort of ignoring everything else. And that’s a pretty big ‘everything else’, friends, family, people I really care about – I’m going to miss them hugely, and I’m moving on my own to god knows where on another continent, they won’t be in the same frame of mind of me either  due to time differences, and asleep at other times. However it’s something I want, and need to do, as I appreciate the opportunity is amazing. It’s just right now, I’m not excited really, and I’m not in the right frame of mind to appreciate it – but I will, I really will.

Anyway, that’ll do for now.

Cheers

Dan

'Dan ponders' - Literally nonsense on a page

Happy belated new year.

Least that’s now out the way. If this is the first thing of mine you’ve ever read, don’t be surprised as I’m an incredibly lazy writer/person. I’ve spent the last two years especially lacking in motivation of things to write about, or consider worth writing about. In fact the below will probably not be any different, I’m just forcing myself to jot something down.

However, I’ve decided this will be a series of my musings which have popped into my little head, perhaps a smattering of half made points that will collide and confuse during my literal mutterings (I don’t re-read what I’ve typed, this is it, one take, done).

Personally the last year or so has been, like most, fairly normal with some unique situations going on. People like to think that ‘X year will be MY year’ – but, it won’t. Sorry. Every year is everyone’s year, and we’re ornately designed to be somewhat selfish/self-absorbed – so this isn’t actually the case, it’s just a year where some good and some bad might happen, like any other. I appreciate for those on social media (Twitter, mostly looking at you for a change), this might sound a terrible thing to say, and make some gasp – WHAT! I AM NOT SELFISH! Being the outcry, sure, that’s cool – each to their own, man. I’m only calling it how, well how it is. Even the most selfless person may sometimes internally have selfish reasons for their actions.

It links to people believing themselves to be utterly unique, one in a million, no two the same. And that’s true…to an extent. Personality wise, you are unique. YOU reading this (all 1 of you), are unique, no one is the same as you. However as a human being, you’re not. You’re built mostly the same as most others. Sorry. And that’s where this wishy-washy point swirls into the aforementioned selfish piece, it’s how we’re designed from the principles of self-survival, we also have the principles of human nature. Twitter has now become the perfect conduit for this, but it’s taken me years to realize – with probably the last 12-18 months really being the ‘awaking’ to it I needed. It allows everyone to have a voice, a unique single voice, which comically within certain circles actually becomes a unique single MASS voice, echoed by people who want validation and require support. I’ve been guilty of it, for sure, but what I find the most amusing is perhaps those with the lack of self-awareness to even realise, and still feel like they are some independent strong willed individual, who just happens to be the same as countless others. Sometimes I think people are scared to truly be themselves, and that’s a real shame.

This isn’t a dig as such, it’s an observation. I’ve probably lost most of you reading this by now anyway with my confusing spiel, and that’s fine – I write for myself mostly anyway, but even I don’t always understand what appears on the page. I think my final thought on this particular strand of nonsense is tribalism is a real thing, and is particularly apparent on social media, with groups with similar interests forming a bond, which unhelpfully (and I think to some degree, unhealthily) leading to examples of sheep following, mutual unneeded or unwarranted ‘bigging up’, a need of validation from one another that leads into what at times looks to be disingenuous praise, which is really no help to anyone, and degrees of bullying. Just something worth considering – but that’s that about, well, that.

One thing I do like though, for a change, is how people can help one another, and it does appear genuine. It’s touching to see, albeit the various ways that can be achieved, all of which probably do more good than we realize. And also for those who manage to find happiness either within themselves or with another, whatever works – we don’t all get to experience that, or know how to, so it’s actually something that should be cherished and revered, and I think at times we perhaps aren’t aware enough of this, and even become a touch embarrassed when the world around us is such a shitshow. Embrace that, never know how long it’s going to last.

For me personally, I think I’ve had an ok year. Gone through the standard practise of some good times, some great times and some pretty rubbish ones, which is about par for the course. I’m considering writing something more specific to that now that I’ve jotted some words down – it will be for me, but you may take some interest in it.

Anyway that’ll do for now.

Cheers,
Dan